The 5 Men I've Never Met

I read UndressingHer's list of the 5 women he's never met and laughed my a$$ off. Here are the 5 men I've never met but desperately need to believe exist. If you're one of these types, get at me.

The 5 Men I’ve Never Met

1. The man who can disagree with me without trying to change my mind.

Ladies are familiar with the expression “agree to disagree” – why aren’t men? I like a man with an opinion on something other than Kobe vs. Lebron, but the ones who have one seem to want to shove it down my throat. Where is the man who will just let me think what I think?

2. The dapper dude who knows how to fix things.

Around these parts it seems I can either have a man who knows how to fix things but starts whining every time he has to wear a shirt with a collar or a man who can out-dress me but tells me to call my sister when I want to hook up my VCR. Where is the man who knows not to wear white socks with black shoes and also knows more about cars than I do?

3. A renaissance man who is not on his own nuts.
I love basketball and hip hop as much as the next dude, but I dream of finding a man with slightly broader horizons. I swear if I ever met a man who knew who Amiri Baraka is I would shoot my load right then and there. The trouble is, around these parts the nice guys seem to consider Family Guy high culture and the halfway cultured ones are self-satisfied pricks. Where is the middle ground?

4. A man who can talk about his feelings without being corny.
As I must have mentioned at some point or another, women learn everything about relationships from the movies. So what they want in life is a man who is going to ride up to their fire escape on a white horse and make a heartfelt declaration of his affection for her in front of her whole neighbourhood. Trouble is, when they do that it seems kinda...punkish, doesn't it? Have they invented the man who can make grandiloquent speeches about his feelings without looking like a herb?

5. A man who can f*ck who is not a complete a$$hole.
We've talked about this before. Why is it that the men who treat women like the bottom of their shoes are also the ones that can blow our backs out? Meanwhile, if we find a nice, respectful, mannerly man it's a guarantee he is a big snooze in bed. It's not fair. 


That's my wish list. Ladies - what type of man are you hoping to meet? Men - I'm not kidding, if you are one of these types let me know. I have an event coming up and I need a date!