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18 August 2010

I'm Gonna Make You Love Me

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The other day while pretending to work toiling away at my incredibly demanding job my ipod delivered a one-two punch of songs that sent my little brain spinning - Your Girl by Mariah Carey and Tell Me You Love Me by Amerie. The basic premise of both songs is this: you don't know it but I’m the girl for you and I’m going to make you fall in love with me and do my bidding.

It's not a particularly new concept, but it got me thinking - is it possible to lead a man from zero (complete disinterest) to 10 (completely besotted) just because you want to?  It reminded me of two girls I knew back when I first moved to Toronto; each of whom set their sights on a man and basically went after him with such force that he was powerless to resist her. One married her target and 10 years later they’re blissfully happy. The other – after stealing him from his current fiancé – cannot stand the dude.

The only time I’ve ever put in real work to make a man love me was with Snickers, and that was really less about getting him to love me and more about getting him to admit that he loved me. Since then I really cannot be bothered to put in much work. Once I’m in a relationship I’ll work hard to keep my dude happy but my strategy for getting a man to like me basically boils down to 1. Dazzle him 2. Confuse the shit out of him. When If that doesn’t work it’s on to the next.

Given that I’m single, I’m thinking my strategy might not be as comprehensive as it could be. So I took to the internets to see what other #swindles tactics the ladies are using to attract a man. So without further ado I give you Top 10 Ways to Make a Man Love You:


1. Look good

I shouldn't even have to tell you this. If you don't know by now that men are visual creatures then you're probably not even old enough to be on this blog. But I'm going to remind you one more time that if you're trying to capture a man's interest you're gonna need to look good. What that means depends on who you are and the circumstances and I'm trusting that you have enough judgement to make the right choice. Just look good and sexy in a non-trashy, non I will let your boys run a triz on me kinda way.


2. Get in the path of destruction

The lovely and talented Dr. Jay already schooled us on this. If you want a man to notice you you have to be in his line of sight. I know The Rules and all those books tell us that he has to chase after us, but it's a little difficult to get him to do that if he doesn't know or care that you exist. So as @emti would say - you gotta chase him until he chases you.

3. Be a social butterfly

People are lemmings and they always want what everyone else wants. So if he sees that other people want to be around you and hang out with you it will likely pique his interest.  However this can backfire if you're seen with too many dudes as being "too social"...some dudes don't like that.

4. Be cool

Drama is never a good thing but it's never worse than when a man is first starting to notice you. We all know how lasting first impressions are right? You don't want him to think of you and immediately recall the fracas you got into with your ex's next at the club the other day. So avoid drama at all costs at least while he's present.

5. Be yourself...kinda

For the record I am not advocating being fake or engaging in any trickery to capture your target, but I cannot unequivocally advise you to just be yourself as so many other people do. Be yourself, but be the most interesting you or the most charming you or the most flirtatious you. But don't be the you who is complaining loudly about your menstrual cramps or bad-mouthing your no-good ex. Don't be yourself like that. Please.

6. Gas up his head

For many men, what attracts him to a woman is less about the woman herself and more about the way she makes him feel about himself. Honest, sincere compliments give men a nice little boost. This is a good thing. It's a great thing if you pay him a compliment he's never heard before or doesn't hear often. If he feels good around you he'll want to be around you.

7. Feign Show interest in what he’s interested in

The idea that we are drawn to people who share our interests is pretty straightforward; I don't think I need to elaborate on that. So yes if you share an appreciation for vintage OutKast with the dude, letting him know that is a good move. But even if you're not into what he's into, displaying a genuine interest in it will serve you well.

8. Go for the nose

This is what you do: when you know you're gonna see the dude, "paint your nails" right before you leave the house. The dab a little bit of your "love" the same places you'd apply fragrance. For one thing, you'll have a great post-orgasmic glow and for another you'll be giving off all kinds of pheromones and pussy-fragrance. What man can resist that?

Too much? Okay well try this instead: Wear the same scent every time you see him. Make sure he gets close enough to smell it on you. Sooner or later he'll come to associate that fragrance with you and wherever he smells it - even if it's between the thighs of some other chick - he'll think of you.

10. Gently confuse him

Once you've put all this work into getting this dude to lust after you, you don't want to mess it up by being too available. Men are hunters and they get off on challenges so make it a little difficult for him or he'll consider you conquered and move on to the next one. And don't let anyone tell you different.

What say you guys? You've been awfully quiet lately and you know I lose my blogging mojo when you guys don't interact with me. So I want to hear from you. Ladies - what tips or tricks do you have to get a man interested? Men - do you think these tactics would work on you? Speak your piece in the comments.

Oh and before I forget - vote for me!

Comments (14)

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max,

I came up in here looking for a reason to disagree with you (you know how I do) but I just couldn't find one...yet.......

My recent post Guest Post- Alice and Her Big Round Ass – A Story of Looming Regret
1 reply · active 770 weeks ago
I'm almost disappointed that you couldn't. I think I kinda like it when you prove me wrong.
I think it can work. the details I can't really divulge...but I've seen it happen. lol. Maybe 10 years from now I'll be at liberty to share the knowledge I've acquired about this in a book.

I'm kinda iffy on #7 only if its pretending. that can totally backfire--but if you genuinely are interested it definitely works in your favor. Like I prob will never go hard for Football but I do go hard for hip hop--and can discuss it intelligently.
My recent post Growing Pains
2 replies · active 770 weeks ago
I don't advocating pretending...but I am in favour of a genuine attempt to learn something about it before you write it off as something "dumb" or "boring". Football is a great example; you don't have to love it but it's nice if you learn enough about it to watch an occasional quarter of a game or something.
True. There aren't many things I write off as dumb, boring maybe. But I do give it a go first.
My recent post Growing Pains
I was ready to comment on #9, but then. . .

Love the list - especially 5: Be interesting enough that he sees you as someone *worth* getting to know, so that even when he's not around you, he's thinking of something you said, something you did, or you're just on his mind even when you're not there. . .

Love the list (with or without #9)!
i actually agree with all (9) of your points. men are simple. we are basically all the same as far as what attracts us (there may be little variations here and there). i think it would be a lot easier for a woman to get a man to fall for her than for man to get a woman to fall for him. good post.
My recent post Random Musings
Being a social butterfly can backfire. Being on the scene too often can reek of desperation or sluttiness. For some guys those qualities are offputting in none "hit-it and dismiss it" situations.
My recent post Joke of The Day 1
Im convinced this number shyt is a gimmick Max. Theres no way someone can do this by accident. lmao.

I also agree with these points. this should be common rules of engagement. Just dont fake the funk too tough because if you're discovered it's a wrap!
I love the list, makes a lot of sense.

I died, when I saw number 8, number 9, I can definitely see it working. Hey whenever I smell Issey Miyake, I think of my ex.

by the way, I voted for you, Yay!
OMG! I am living for this entire list! Well, I don't know about #8...I'm tempted to now try it. LOL!
keishabrown's avatar

keishabrown · 770 weeks ago

iDied...came back to life and died again at #8..and am also tempted to try it. ha!
i dont think it works. if i've learned anything reading blogs from several pts of view (incl di man dem) is that you should never ever ever try to change a dude. whether its his mind or behaviour. you control you.
now.. if you are out there being a great fabulous you and he goes from lukewarm to wanting you (esp if you prove to be tricky combo of aloof and available, sexy without skanky), then it's a win-win.
to quote ya girl Nickerz..i just aint got that kind of time!!

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bag lady. digital nerd. beauty junkie. shoe whore. i'm a sucker for big words and box-fresh kicks. know a little bit about a lot of things and have something to say about everything.
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