max-logic

3 December 2009

Don't call me baby

at 12/03/2009 10:35:00 am | | labels: maxlogic, random

Oe of the most fun parts of a new relationship for me is figuring out what I'm gonna call him. I'm usually looking for two things; a pet name and a euphemism with which I refer to him when analyzing the minutiae of our relationship with mentioning him to friends. My euphemisms are usually descriptive; "the old one", "the young one", "waiter dude", "bathroom grabber", while my pet names are a little more problematic.

I tend to favour weird pet names (regular readers should connect this to my constant references to my first love as "Snickers"). I'm particularly partial to "cher" as a pet name - it's French for dear - but have yet to encounter a man who would allow me to call him that. One of my best friends is programmed in my phone as "lovesponge" and most of my friends get a random "ers" tagged to their names somehow - I have a Manzers, and Jemmers, and a Vivers, for example. My sister will forever be known as Marshie-poo. But my absolute favourite thing to call people is "fuckface". I don't know where this came from or why I'm so attached to it, but once I get to liking someone, it starts to bubble out of my mouth seemingly beyond my control. As you can imagine, it does not go over so well.
In my checkered past, I've been known by many names - "Big Baby", "Indian", and "Mad Max", to name a few. But by far the most popular pet name is, you guessed it: "baby". I'm not sure why Baby is such a common pet name, but I do my best to staunch the truth my reflex reaction - that it infanitilizes and therefore minimizes women. As much as I'm sure Simone de Beauvoir would agree with that theory, I suspect it has something more to do with the fact that caring about someone tends to inspire the desire to nurture, protect, and care for someone; just as you would a baby. Or maybe we all just listen to too much popular music.

At any rate, I've never been a big fan of being called Baby. It's far too generic for a weirdo like me. When it happens, I grin and bear it, but it's just another one of those little things that show me he's not the one.

And just in case my soulmate is somewhere out there reading this, here's a tip for you: don't call me Baby.

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emti (manzers) · 807 weeks ago

you add a zer and i usually add an ie or a y...you are maxie, there's pookie, craigy etc. etc.
and i love to be called baby hee hee

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shalimar6 · 807 weeks ago

LOL I like "baby". I don't say it but you can call me "baby" if you want to :) I can see that it is kinda generic and not the most original but I still think its sorta sweet.

It also depends on who is saying it and when; If I'm walking down the street and some random guy goes "yo baby lemme holla at you..." then I'm not feeling it. But if I'm boo'ed up and its in an intimate context then, I'm w/ it.

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@__melissa · 807 weeks ago

you can't fight what someone's gonna call you, i've learned. when i protested my gfs calling me melly (cuz it rhymes with smelly and belly), that just made them call me that more. and now that's what they call me.

i don't mind baby as long as you're not saying that i'm acting like a baby. hahah....

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WWD · 807 weeks ago

I like this post. Its fun and not as heavy as other relationship topics can be.

I love me a pet name. In fact, if I call you by your given name ( I hate the term "government name") then that probably means you don't carry any significance to be.

If I call you "babe" or "baby" it genuinely is a term of endearment to me, especially the former. Admittedly though, I will through it out there along with "bro", "brother" and "hon", short for honey if I can't access the name memory bank quick enough or maybe your name just never stuck. Shit more times I'm not even trying to remember a name unless that person made a distinct impression on me.

If your getting "brother" I probably forgot your name but I'm gonna give you the extra syllable as a sign of respect. If you getting a "bra" then you definately one of my niggas. And if I go so far as to tag a nickname on you then you definately matter to me.

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WWD · 807 weeks ago

Shoot, I almost forgot "Boo". That one is reserved for all the special women in my life. I know its almost trite to make them share but the number really isn't that big. It will always include my daughter but usually only extends to my bona fide as well.

I really started saying it as a joke in those instances when you end up being uncomfortably close to someone and the natural reaction is to either give them a kiss or shy away blushing. Well, instead of shying away I started saying "boo" as if i meant to scare them.

Imagine my horror when hip hop culture got a hold of it and truely made it trite. I aint saying I started the shit, just that it had some meaning for me...

Okay, I'm good now.