The Dull Roar

I spent the years between ages 18 and 20 with a permanent knot in my stomach. Those were the years between when I met my first love and when we finally got together. In that time, everything was so extreme; the good things sent me soaring and the bad things had me bawling. The day he first kissed me (May 24 1995) was the happiest day of my life and thoughts of the day we broke up make me lower than even thoughts of his death do.
In the years since Snickers, there have been a lot of highs and lows. I've been sent soaring by other kisses and been plunged to the depths of misery by other breakups. That's what love is all about, right?
Except somewhere along the line, I decided I've had enough of it. At 34 I'm exhausted. Rather than thrilling me as they once did, the ups and downs of love and relationships just wear me out. Chemistry and attraction just don't do it for me anymore; now when I meet a man who gives me butterflies I either relegate him to jumpoff status or run for the hills.
These days, compatibility and manners are what send me swooning (to the extent that I'm capable of swooning anymore). You can have the heat of passion; I'll take the dull roar of comfort any day. I find life infinitely more enjoyable without a knot in my stomach.


sent while running the streets