Ready for Love - A Guest Post

If you've been reading this blog with any kind of regularity you probably know by now that love is not on my agenda. Although I have a great appreciation for love in other people's lives, I'm of the firm belief that a good book, a stiff cock, and a fresh bagel are pretty much all I need to keep me happy. But every now and then it's nice for me to post something over here at jaded woman central that appeals to those of you who still have souls actually are in love or plan to be one day. Thankfully my girl MsEsquire77 has brought the goods today with an open letter to her future husband.  Check her out and be sure to show her love in the comments so she'll come back and visit us again.

I’m not ashamed to admit that I want to be a wife. While I’d like to have a lovely wedding it’s not really all that important to me. What I really want is a commitment that mirrors what my grandparents have had for the past 59 years. While I’m sure they’ve had their share of tragedies and triumphs they are still together and their love each other is evident to anyone who knows them. I’m 32 (33 on October 5th…feel free to send me gifts.) and I’ll confess that in the past few years I’ve grown a little weary with waiting on my husband. I sometimes find myself asking God, “When will it be my turn?” I’m ready for love.

I have an anthology about love called “It’s All Love: Black Writers on Soul Mates, Family and Friends”. One of my favorite pieces is “One Hundred Days of Bliss” by Sonsyrea Tate Montgomery. In a nutshell it’s an e-mail from her to God thanking Him for her husband, Mike. It has inspired me to write a letter to my future husband. Here goes:

To my beloved,

What took you so long?! I’m just kidding :) I know that God had a plan for us and that we were predestined to meet and fall in love based on His timeline but I’ll admit that I was getting a little nervous.

I’d known love in my past and mistakenly thought I’d met you at least once before but God knew better. I am thankful for those past relationships because they taught me invaluable lessons about patience, kindness, fidelity and communication. Those other men were just tools that the Master used to mold me and shape me into the woman He wanted me to become for you.

When we first met I was guarded because I’d been hurt in the past but you were patient with me and didn’t let my fear run you away. We both came into this relationship with some baggage but have managed to love each other flaws and all. You’ve loved me with a passion that is honest and true and I thank you for allowing me the freedom to be my best me.

Our marriage isn’t always perfect but our love is and it allows us to press through the hard times. We cherish our vows and have managed to stay together through sickness & in health, through richer & through poorer. Through it all you’ve been my lover, my friend and the head of our household. I’m thankful for you and all that you do.

You are the answer to countless prayers and I’m blessed to have you.

Thank you for loving me and accepting my love in return.

Yours until the end of time,
Shondriette

That was beautiful, wasn't it? I have no doubts that my little Shonnerz will find what she's looking for because she has the courage to put it out into the universe.

But what about you guys? Are you actively seeking your husband or wife? Think you're ready for it? Have you ever written a letter like this? Already found your love? Think love is for other people? Share your stories.

Now I may not be ready for love but I am ready for a Black Weblog Nomination. Have you nominated me yet? If I'm not going to have a husband I need something to cuddle up with at night! Get the easy instructions right here.

 

Guest Post - Getting In The Path of Destruction

It's that time of year again. Nominations for the Black Weblog Awards have started and I would really like one. So show how much you love me (and I know you do) by nominating me. You can get all the details and sh*t over here.

In the comments of my post about busy dudes, my buddy Dr. J advised getting in the path of destruction when dealing with an overstimulated man. I wished for a guest post on the subject and like the fairy godblogger he is, he promptly delivered it. This is why I heart him and you should too.

With men being at a premium in the world today, most men aren’t making it easy for women to get at them. The men that most women want are busy, successful, and not trying to chase every skirt they can get their hands on. So how does a woman get a guy who seems too busy for romance?

Let me start by backing up for a moment and explaining something to the reader. A man who is busy spends his free time letting loose. A lot of people expect a man who is busy to spend his free time with his significant other. This negates the fact that he probably wants to have time to himself, hang out with friends, and get wasted when he’s not working. Women don’t seem to understand this. Short-sightedness.

Nonetheless a good man is hard to find, and more frustrating than trying to find a good man, is finding one you can’t have. Women always want to know where men are, I’d argue that they know exactly where men are they just can’t hook him. I’ve always thought of relationships like this, if you want some water, why not go to the well? If you want some milk, why not go to the cow? A lot of people are waiting for a Deer Park truck to show up at their doorstep and deliver them a man, but it would be so much easier if they’d just go get the man.

So women, start in the following places when looking for a man: the gym, local happy hour lounge, metro and Starbucks. Why? Because these are places that men hang out at. You may be worried about sweating your hair out, but just wash and set it once you get home and you’ll have a fresh hairdo and a man. A lot of women claim they don’t meet men in the club… but you’re single. Something’s not adding up. If you see a guy who catches your eye, why not find a way to get in his path of destruction? And if that place is a club, then I’d recommend you start frequenting that club a lot more than you currently do. If you notice that the guy you want goes to Cosi everyday for lunch at noon, why not be in Cosi everyday at noon?

I heard this story about a guy who found his wife by standing on a corner he had seen her walk past once for two months. He would plop himself down on the sidewalk every day at lunch for an hour and just wait for her to walk by. He didn’t know that she was only in that part of town to run an errand. But you know what? One day she had to run that errand again and he was able to meet her. They were married for over 50 years.

Some women are worried about seeming desperate or thirsty. One of the most frequent pieces of advice I ever give is that people should stop worrying what people think about their love life. At the end of the day, the opinions of people who you aren't sleeping with will keep you single and alone. If you want to have a man in your life and you’ve identified who you’d like to find that vacancy, get in his path of destruction. You might seem desperate but it’s only short term because soon you will look and be satisfied and all those who judged you will be still single. They will be the same ones sitting around at a happy hour spot with all women talking about how men ain’t skit.

#kanyeshrug on this post. I’m just trying to keep it real and give the best advice I can give. In other news, it seems that you are in great health, Dr. J thinks you’ve been doing a great job lately. In short, “You’re beautiful. If no one else told you that today, let me be the one.”

So ladies, what do you think of Dr. J's strategy? Do you hunt your prey in his natural habitat or wait for him to find you? Men do you rate this strategy?



And don't forget the nominations for the Black Weblog Awards! Easy instructions are right here.