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13 October 2009

I Just Wanna Get to Know You

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I'm a curious person. The kinda person who knows a little bit about a lot of things and wants to know something about everything. The kind of person who can easily spend two hours on wikipedia clicking on link after link learning about everything from Basquiat to escovitch. So it stands to reason that, as I'm going along living my fabulous life, I encounter someone about whom I'd like to know a lot more. Now when this person is a woman it's easy - all I really have to do is talk to her about shoes find a common ground and we're fast friends. But when the person is a man it can be a little...problematic.


See the only way to get to know someone is to stalk get close to them...pay attention to them, ask questions, suggest outings, stuff like that. And through the shared interests and experiences you will, if you're lucky, forge a friendship. Or get bored - if the person doesn't live up to your expecations. But when you're a single woman trying to get to know a single man, nine times of our ten he's gonna think you're trying fuck date him; and your assurances that you're interest is purely platonic will likely be met with a big old side-eye.


So what's a curious gal to do? My fab friend Jem says I need to stop lying to myself and that my so-called desire to get to know a dude is nothing more than a hard-on wrapped up in lofty talk. But I don't accept that.


To me, wanting to get to know someone I'm attracted to is a crush. Wanting to get to know someone who doesn't give me that 'funny feeling' is just...wanting to get to know him.


So what's the right way to do that? Educate me people.

Comments (4)

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MizzLoveLippz · 795 weeks ago

Educate you? Honey, that's why I subscribe to your blog! I'm hoping YOU'LL educate me! What happened to old school dating? The kind where the man finds you 'honourable' that you DON'T want to sleep with him the first time you go out? That's what I wanna know. Then THEY get bored if you don't put out. Or at least make him THINK you're going to put out. Sigh.

Good luck getting to know him. And let me know your secrets if this 'friendship' develops. God knows I NEED to know! :)
1 reply · active 795 weeks ago
LOL the sad thing is this post was inspired by the fact that i recently tried getting to know a dude i found really interesting...but it soon became clear that he thought i was trying to date him. we seem to have grown bored of one another now. it's sad though because i think the sexual politics got in the way of us getting to know each other...but that's what usually happens when men and women interact, isn't it?
I think it's something that goes with age. We are all grown ups now, so going to the movies doesn't seem like a big deal anymore. Getting something to eat can now be wrapped up in a 1 hour break from work. And well now that hugs and kisses are the new handshake - sex seems so casual. Seems to me that at this point, that's the only real interest that men and women have for eachtother. Shit, I mean honestly do you need another male FREIND in your life?
1 reply · active 795 weeks ago
I don't know...sometimes when I'm interested in a dude my objective isn't even friendship - sometimes I just want to have a conversation, or ask him about a specific thing, or see if he lives up to the image I've built up of him in my head. It's true I don't really feel a burning desire to add more friends to my circle, but I do like to temporarily broaden my horizons every once in a while...

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bag lady. digital nerd. beauty junkie. shoe whore. i'm a sucker for big words and box-fresh kicks. know a little bit about a lot of things and have something to say about everything.
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