And if I can't have it, then I'm fakin' it

Ah the big O. I've talked about this before but a discussion that came up at Inside Our Heads the other night prompted me to re-examine it.  We were discussing the importance of orgasms and whether the ladies on the panel ever faked it. And after a quick internal debate about whether I should tell the truth, I admitted that yes, I'm a faker.

See here's the thing: I'm a cerebral person. My brain never shuts off, so the concept of just being in the moment doesn't really compute for me. During secksy time I will invariably be distracted...sometimes it's by something as small as the ticking of a clock or a song playing in the background; sometimes i'm thinking about the meaning behind what is happening. But either way, the constant machinations of my brain often stand between me and my O and no matter what the man is laying on me, it's just not gonna happen. And so, in the interest of getting my beauty sleep, I have to get my "When Harry Met Sally" on so I can move on with my life.

I know some of you are side-eyeing me right now wondering why I can't just be honest. But if you've been paying attention you should know by now that I soooo can. The problem is, that sometimes it's just not worth it. Because when you tell a man that the Big O is not imminent, moretimes he will take it as a personal challenge. You've laid down the gauntlet for him and he's not going out without a fight. He will pull out his "best" material to assert his manhood and drag you kicking and screaming to the summit. Before the night is over, you will have sweated out your press n curl and begun to chafe in unpleasant ways. See where all that honesty gets you? Tired, sticky, sweaty, frizzy, and stinging. All of which could be avoided with a few strategically-timed moans and muscle contractions.

I will admit though that there is the rare exception to the above scenario. And that is when you encounter the man that will accept that sometimes the O is not about him. This dude's manhood does not rest on the back of your orgasm and he will accept what you say and still try to make it an enjoyable experience for both of you. He might ask you what he can do to help you get there, but he's not pressing the issue.  Unfortunately, this the exception rather than the rule and you can't bank on this outcome. So I say just make it believable and move on with your life.

My name is max, and I'm a faker.