The dearth of romance in relationships is something I touched on in yesterday's post; and judging from the feedback I got, it's a hot topic for a lot of people. A lot of women who read the post called me or emailed me to bemoan the fact that once a man gets comfortable in a relationship, he stops doing the romantic things he did in the beginning. Now I don't know if I necessarily subscribe to one commenter's theory that monogamy=monotony; but I have been around long enough to know that most people in relationships lead with the good foot, so to speak. When we meet someone new we're all about the wooing - whether it's buying flowers and gifts for your lady or feigning interest in your man's favourite sport. But as we become comfortable, going that extra mile seems to become too much effort.
But how we deal with the death of romance is an interesting thing. From my observations of men, it seems that the less appreciated they feel the less effort they put in. If a man tries to do something nice for his lady and he does it wrong she doesn't show adequate appreciation or criticizes his efforts, he's disinclined to try it again. What he will do instead is find another source of that manly feeling he was looking for. And nine times out of ten that source is another woman's pu$$y. He's not necessarily looking to end the relationship, he just taking a little boost from time to time.
But what does a woman do if she feels unappreciated by her man? Well they do a lot of things; cheating is one of them - as much as the ladies want to believe that men are solely responsible for the world's cheating, we do our dirt too. Some women take the "nag and bitch" approach. But far and away the most common reaction for women in this situation seems to be to become fixated on the fantasy that the next man will be better.
Consider this scenario: a woman in a relationship with a man who doesn't romance her like he used to gets to talking with another man. This might be someone she just met, or an old standby; a friend who has always been there waiting to pounce for her. She confides in him that her man isn't doing what he used to. He starts to give her the talks; "Baby if I was your man I would _____", he betrays the man code by agreeing with her assessment of her man's behaviour. And he starts laying on the compliments. The woman starts thinking that maybe Mr. Next Man is a better match for her and grows even more disillusioned with the current man. Next thing you know, the current man is out and the next man is in. Fast forward three months - the flowers have dried up, the compliments have stopped, and Mr. Next Man spends just as much time playing NBA 2K10 as the last dude did. The woman looks around and asks herself, what happened?
What happened is this: she played herself. She forgot that men are hunters and they cannot resist ripe prey. Is there anything more appealing to a man than the opportunity to steal a next man's woman? Honestly I think they'd try it even if they weren't feeling the girl, just to say they did it.
What is it about us women that makes us forget that the grass is rarely greener? I have to admit that even I have fallen for this trick, and I still don't know why. I guess it's because being wooed is like kryptonite for women. Just as men are powerless to resist free pum pum, women lose their minds over compliments, empty though they may be.
Ladies have you ever fallen for this trick? Men have you ever stolen a woman just because you could? Enlighten me.
