Happy New Year Everyone!
I promised I'd be back in January and here I am. Things are finally settling down over in the three-dimensional world and now I can give you the attention you so rightly deserve. Hope you haven't given up on me!
Anyway. Okay so about a month ago my sister and I were headed to Jully's show at Nathan Phillips Square but when we got in her car it wouldn't start. The lights and the radio came on but it was just making some kind of weird noise and that's it. Now I'm no Monalisa Vitto, but I do know enough about cars to have at least a vague idea what's wrong when one dies. So when we called my dad to get an over the phone diagnosis, I was a bit skeptical when he started telling us it was the battery. Okay, I damn near shouted 'LIAR' into the phone. Despite my protestations that the lights, horn, etc. were functioning normally, he insisted that I bang on the battery cables with 'something heavy' and when that didn't work, call my ex-un-boyfriend/roommate/bff to give us a boost. We didn't.
Fast forward to the next morning when Marshie-poo and I call the tow truck. The driver comes and asks us what the problem is and we tell him it won't start but it isn't the battery. And what does he do? Spends about 10 minutes banging on the battery thingies and another 10 trying to boost it. While we stand around waiting in the freezing cold I might add. As the long dramatic saga of getting the car fixed went on, various men that we dealt with persisted in investigating the health of the battery despite our - okay my - repeated assurances that we did not have a battery problem. 48 hours and a lot of standing around in the cold later, do you want to know what was wrong with the car? It was the starter. Yup.
Now if you read this story and thought that it would turn out that I was wrong all along and the battery was the problem, guess what? You're a man. That's just the way men think.
I have only one rule that I actually stick to in my dealings with men. I don't discuss cars, hip hop, or sports with them unless I agree with them or know nothing about the specific topic. Why, you ask? Because 99% of men do not give a woman's opinion on the aforementioned subjects any credence whatsoever. That's just the way men think. No matter how flimsy their knowledge of the subject may be, no matter how well-thought out and researched your argument is, that man is programmed to think that what you're saying is bullshit and he's either going to argue with you to the ends of the earth or wait until you're gone and spend hours looking for research that supports his flawed point of view. Either way, it's pointless. Take my advice ladies, and hold your counsel when these topics come up in mixed company. Unless you feel like banging your head against the wall. In which case you should just do that. It'll hurt less.
