At the end of my last first date, the dude suggested we retire to his bedroom. I laughed, thinking he was kidding. He wasn't. He proceeded to explain to me that the notion that it’s a bad idea for a woman to give it up on the first date is antiquated. "All the same," I told him "I think I'll pass on the generous invitation". The next morning he sent me a 500-word missive that further explained why first-date sex is okay.
I brushed that incident off as a one-off and continued with my stance on first-date sex: not a good idea unless you don't like the guy. But lately I've been coming across more and more blog posts in favour of the first-date dance. Then last week I read Jack from Brooklyn's "Dismantling the Myth of First Night Nookie".
I think we have a movement on our hands here.
A recent Twitterpoll suggests that 99% of the men I know think there is nothing wrong with having sex on the first date. The answers ranged from "totally acceptable" to “I don't think you can have such a static standard about sex anymore”. Sounds encouraging, right? At long last we gals can give in to our carnal urges and gleefully spread our legs whenever we please without repercussions. Let horny women everywhere rejoice.
The thing is though that of the men who said that first date sex is okay, most of them also said that they would respect the woman less afterward and their intentions toward her would change once she gave up the goods. The general consensus among these fools guys was basically if we’re giving it up they’re taking it, but we can kiss any hope we had of wifey status goodbye. Only a handful of dudes said that their opinions of the women would stay the same after sex.
So has anything really changed? I doubt it. Women's lib notwithstanding, there is still a huge double-standard when it comes to first-date sex. A man will go on a first date with a woman, attempt to sleep with her and have the nerve to lose respect for her if she gives in without ever once stopping to worry about whether she has lost respect for him.
So what's a gal to do? What she's comfortable with, I guess. I once slept with a man on the first date and stayed with him for years afterward. Max 1.0 slept with men on the first date and never heard from them again. At the end of the day, I have two pieces of advice to share. Ladies: if you want the man to know you're about more than sex, you probably shouldn't lead with your pussy. And men: get over the idea that a woman's pussy is the most interesting thing about her. Fucking her does not mean you've conquered her.
What do you guys think? Are we off the notion that first-date sex automatically rules out a relationship or is what our mothers told us true? Enlighten me.
