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21 April 2010

The No-Cry Zone

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As a woman who is blessed with many male friends, I hear a lot of stories about sex. First-time sex in particular. And lately I've noticed an alarming trend among these stories. Far too many of them end with "and then she started crying". Yep. They start crying. It seems women all over the world city are meeting men in clubs, at brunch, online, going home and f*cking them, and then crying talking about they've never done this before and they're not that kind of girl.

Oh ladies - I have such a bone to pick with you. You cannot do this. You simply cannot. First of all, there is only one reason to cry during sex. That is when the shit is so good that you just spontaneously burst into tears (Sidebar: has this ever happened to you? It's amazing). That's the only reason it's ever okay to cry during sex. Period.

Second, if you're going to start crying during sex because you're so consumed with worry that the man won't respect you afterward, at least have the decency to make up a lie when he asks you why you're crying. If you're scrambling for a good line, try "the shit was so good I just spontaneously burst into tears". Men love that.

Third, if you meet a man and go home with him that same night and f*ck him, you are that kind of girl. There's no equivocation about that. You need to accept it and own it. And you know what? There are worst kinds of girls to be.

Now if you're one of these idiots girls who does this, you're probably wondering why it's such a big deal. Well, beside the fact that it's really (really) pathetic, let me tell you something - dumb asses like you make life more difficult for normal women. Because of girls like you who can't handle casual sex, men who just want to bone find it necessary to lie about it. Because they're afraid we're gonna do exactly what you did - act stupid. So please, as a gesture of goodwill toward your fellow women, effing stop it.

This is the part of the post where I ask you if you have any experience with the topic but honestly ladies, if you've ever cried after sex because you feared that the man wouldn't respect you, I want you to get off my site don't want to hear about it. Actually same goes for any man reading who has done this. But if anyone out there has a compelling reason why this might be okay, I'd love to hear it.


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bag lady. digital nerd. beauty junkie. shoe whore. i'm a sucker for big words and box-fresh kicks. know a little bit about a lot of things and have something to say about everything.
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