On My Celibacy Sh*t

Don't think that just because I haven't bothered you for a few days about the Black Weblog Awards that you're off the hook. Have you nominated me yet? You can get all the details and sh*t over here.

If you read this blog with any kind of regularity, you should know two things about me: 1. I like experiments and 2. Fridays are for over-sharing. Oh and 3. I love sex. So today we combine the three as I tell you about the latest in my series of activities that I undertake "just to see how it turns out"....celibacy.

Yep. I said it. I've decided to attempt to be celibate for six months.

Now if you know me in real life, you should be a little worried. I've already told you guys what happens to me when I'm celibate. I turn into a version of Max that is not fit for human consumption. To say I become a bit of a bitch would not be an exaggeration. And who can blame me? But that's as much because I don't like options taken away from me as because of my longing for the pipe...it's the principle that offends me. Or so I tell myself.

It's been a long time since I've taken a vow of celibacy but the last time I did it I lasted just over two years. Admirable, maybe, but going that long without peen clouded my judgment in disastrous ways that I'm not gonna get into here, so I'm thinking that was over-doing it just a bit. Six months is a nice, neat number and it takes me right up to my birthday....where I fully expect to break the seal with some first-ever birthday sex.

If you love me even a little bit you're probably wondering why I would choose to separate myself from my one true love - the pipe. And it's a good question. So really...why am I doing this? Mostly because I needed a post for today and was fresh out of ideas I have this theory that sex out of the equation sharpens one's thinking, there are a lot things I need to be putting my mental energy into right now that don't involve hunting down sugar. For another, it's good practice for my next experiment - kicking my addiction to the most beautiful substance ever created the demon nicotine. And also because no one thinks I can, and who could pass up a challenge like that?

Oh and p.s. before Streetz comes to heckle me about my mathematical inabilities, I am aware that the end of September is three, not six months away. But I've already got three months down so altogether it will make sex...I mean six.  Freudian slip?

So what do you guys think? Will I succeed in my mission to shun the man-pipe until the end of September? Have you ever purposely been celibate? Did you get anything valuable out of it? Share your stories in the comments.

And now that I've given up life's greatest joy, please don't forget the nominations for the Black Weblog Awards! I'm gonna need a pick me up and what could be better than a nomination? Easy instructions are right here.