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15 June 2010

Throwback Tuesday - The Comfort Zone

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Welcome to Throwback Tuesday. Since Google Analytics tells me that most of you are new visitors, I thought I'd re-post all the good ish you missed before you got on board the max-logic train.

So ladies, you know how it is - you meet someone, you start dating, and you're working overtime to make sure your shit is on point. Everything is waxed, hair is always done, and every date requires a quorum to determine the perfect outfit. And it works, right? Things progress and deepen, you have the talk about exclusivity, and you begin to feel a little more secure. So you take the waxing lady off speed dial, choose your own outfits, and start wearing the glasses and saving the contacts for 'special' occasions. Nothing wrong with that. But then things progress a little further, you know you have him on lock, and suddenly you live at the corner of messy ponytail and lululemon pants. You show up for sleepovers wearing your head tie and your zit cream. And we all know you're not shaving or waxing a place.

Ladies, there's such a thing as too comfortable. And that is it.

I’m not saying that you need to look like a runway model every moment you're with your man. A wise man once told me "a woman can't be on her A game every time you see her". That’s true, but that does not mean you need to completely fall off your grooming habits.

Please remember - men are visual creatures - they are stimulated by what they see. So please give them something enticing to look at, or don't be upset when they look somewhere else. And remember what I told you - you gotta start as you mean to go on. So if you start out cute and get lazy, don't be surprised when he starts out smitten and ends up bored.

Now this does not mean that you have to do what I do dumb sh*t like waiting until he falls asleep to take off your makeup and tie your hair and then set the alarm really early so you can groom yourself and climb back in bed. That’s just silly. Head tying is a necessary part of hygiene and most men will appreciate the effort. But think of it as a trade off:

Head tie + flannel pajamas = not hot
Head tie + sexy pajamas = him probably not even noticing what is on your head.
Bonus points for head tie + no pajamas

Not wearing makeup if you're hanging at home = fine
Walking around with dots of toothpaste all over your face = fail

I think you get the picture. Am I off base here?

Oh and men - don't think you're off the hook here either. You know you get comfortable too. No one wants to see you walking around with strategically-placed holes in your boxers. And yes you have to put lotion on even if we are just hanging at your place (on your WHOLE body please - not just your arms and legs). We women may not be as driven by the visuals as you are, but we still want to see you looking good.

What say you all though? Ladies how comfortable do you get with your man? Men - how comfy is too comfy?


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Comments (13)

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thank you girl! and thanks for commenting!
I've always said that I'd need to see a girl in sweatpants, sneakers, messy hair, and no makeup before I'd every consider her to be "wifey" material. That being said, if I can't wake up to you in your "normal" state, then why bother? We're all people, right?
The charade of the beginning stages is unfortunately necessary for initial attraction, but don't let it become the "bait and switch". If you stay true to yourself and are honest with your partner, it should not be an issue past LOVE and not LUST. Such goes the fate of humanity.
I have gotta agree with Heyhomee...Plus anyone that knows me knows that I'd rather see a girl without her mask. If I stay then, she's good to go...if I run, well...snap I guess she's outta luck. What I would hate is a female who puts on too much make up...if that ever came off and it's not the same person I was sleeping with last night then there is something definitely wrong. But then again I wouldn't want to sleep overnight with a woman that wears too much makeup anyways...because I can already predict how the morning will turn out...
1 reply · active 815 weeks ago
i agree with you and heyhomee but i think there is such a thing as going too far. yes a woman should be herself and no she should not feel compelled to wear makeup every moment that she is in her man's eyesight. but not making any effort to look appealing is asking for trouble in my opinion. you two are exceptionally good guys - but not every man thinks like you.
Hmmm. I tend to take it up a notch when I'm in a relationship... (weird, huh?) and no man I'm with will ever see the "process" i.e. facial treatments, removal or application of weaves, waxing etc. I don't expect him to think I wake up looking that way...but c'mon now, a little mystery please!

I agree with you (again) maxfab - men are visual creatures and I think it's unfair for either person to just "let themselves go" because they're in a relationship.
I think its a balancing act. If you are in this relationship and are committed then it is when you are comfortable and at times at your worst; when you are truly being the real you. If he loves you inspite of it all..flaws and all then you've got him.

But once you have him, you do have to keep him. So yes... you still have to maintain your sexy. I'm not eff'n up my perm for nobody so there will def be a head tie, but I'll keep it sexy w/ the p.j's. I'll keep it fit and tight and stay silky and smooth and hairless, because even though I am comfortable I still want him to want me or better yet desire me.
Praise the lord!

I'm gonna do my part and if its too much to ask for you to do yours, I undestand. But then I'm gonna find me someone who understands. Understand!
i agree with this. people in general often get lazy and stop doing the things they did to get their mate. especially with women (because men are more visual creatures) it's important that they at least give the illusion of trying.
I agree with you that is why I keep it simple. Well not true, my hair is rarely done because I don't know how to do it, I don't like to go often to the hairdresser either. Never wear makeup because I don't know how to apply it. On the other end EVERYTHING is always waxed, I love my baby smooth skin ! I like to smell good (got a lot of body lotions and perfume), feel good, I am crazy about lingerie... When I have a man, I like to seduce him. I have had a lazy ex BF and had to remind him to shave or go to the gym... I think people get lazy because they take their s.o for granted. Maybe they should try to do things for themselves first or if they do it for their s.o, I am convince that they can enjoy the result. I know I feel good when my hair has been done by the hairdresser, so I do it for myself as well. If I get a compliment, it's even better, I might go more often. Men-women, do you compliment your s.o when they have a new hair style, a new dress-clothes ? Maybe if you don't notice, they think it's irrelevant. I always tell a man when he smells good (it turns me on) or look good. We all like compliments.
I heart this!! We are finally past the year mark and I finally feel comfortable wearing my head tie around him, I even slept without one until recently (gasp!) LOL! He use to say...how come you are always put together when I see you? I was hardly trying, but I did remove the scarf and put on a proper tank and yoga pants/shorts combo...no makeup or anything extra...just looked presentable. Finally he said...I want to see you with your head tie on and old t-shirt! LOL! I told him...too soon!

But yeah, your post was on point...no one should slip into a zone where they just don't think they need to be "presentable" anymore...it's just not a good look for any party cause no matter how deep is the love if you start to look a mess the eyes will start to wander. PSA: Keep your s.o. enticed at all times, ‘cause they need to know if they can walk away, so can you!! end PSA.
It is true, men are visual creatures and they always trust the picture they see, so a woman should usually look attractive to them. But I also agree that attractiveness can be different and the combination of a head tie + sexy pajamas is a great example to that.

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