It's that time of year again. Nominations for the Black Weblog Awards have started and I would really like one. So show how much you love me (and I know you do) by nominating me. You can get all the details and sh*t over here.
This morning on my walk in to work I was behind a couple with their dog. The man and the dog were standing on the sidewalk while the woman - in a skirt - was on the grass scooping the dog's poop. Then she tied the bag up, he took her hand, and they walked away. Two things struck me as odd about this:
1. He held her hand after she scooped up dogsh*t and I didn't see anyone pulling out the hand sanitizer
2. Isn't it very ungentlemanly to let your woman scoop up the dog poo while you just stand there?
This got me thinking about the state of chivalry today. I'll admit that I have a slightly skewed frame of reference since I live in the rude man capital of the world, but even my beloved men of SBM are slightly less than enamoured of the whole chivalry thing...as they've mentioned here. And here. And here.
Now since I'm late posting today and I love it when things get all intereactive on here, I'm going to throw out some things that I always believed were the gentlemanly thing to do and you guys can tell me whether you agree, if you do them, what happens if your man doesn't do them, etc.
Ready?
1. Pumping the gas...no matter whose car it is or who is driving
2. Paying for dates.
3. Standing when a lady approaches a table or leaves the table
4. Pulling out chairs and helping with coats
5. Offering your seat on the bus, subway, etc. to a lady
6. Calling the day after you bone for the first time.
7. When walking down the street with your lady, staying on the outside(closer to the road) so she is protected from traffic.
8. Providing cab fare after a thronx.
School me as you guys always do.
And don't forget the nominations for the Black Weblog Awards! Easy instructions are right here.
14 June 2010
The Gentlemanly Thing to Do
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about moi
- max
- bag lady. digital nerd. beauty junkie. shoe whore. i'm a sucker for big words and box-fresh kicks. know a little bit about a lot of things and have something to say about everything.
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herlilblackbook 37p · 775 weeks ago
1. Pumping the gas...no matter whose car it is or who is driving
The person that owns the car, pumps the gas.
2. Paying for dates.
I used to be opposed to this, but I'm learning that I should just shut up and let him pay on those first dates. But we should at least make an offer to chip in...
3. Standing when a lady approaches a table or leaves the table
In formal or one on one situations...yes! But if I'm out with a group of friends, I don't expect my boys to get up for me...
4. Pulling out chairs and helping with coats
Again, in one on one situations...
5. Offering your seat on the bus, subway, etc. to a lady
Y'know, I've never had that happen. EVER. Wait, I lie... it happened to me once on the train - in ENGLAND.
6. Calling the day after you bone for the first time.
You better or I'm erasing your number.
7. When walking down the street with your lady, staying on the outside(closer to the road) so she is protected from traffic.
I've never understood this. Because if a two-ton vehicle is diving straight for us, does it really matter who's on the outside?!?
8. Providing cab fare after a thronx.
I was raised to always have enough money to get you home.... but it would be nice if it was offered.
Dr. J · 774 weeks ago
I must admit I rarely offer up my seat on public transportation, but that's usually because i'm doing something that requires I be sitting down.
I am the King of standing though, I don't know why people don't do this... I mean i'm actually pretty well-mannered and chilvalrous, whether I like it or not.
TheMostIntersting · 774 weeks ago
I always pump the gas.
2. Paying for dates.
When I was single I paid, since we became bf/gf, engaged, and then husband and wife - we go dutch.
3. Standing when a lady approaches a table or leaves the table
Always. Hats off on introductions as well.
4. Pulling out chairs and helping with coats
Sometimes. If my wife is in formal attire, I help with coat and pull out chairs. Regular friday dinner at at restuarant, not so much.
TheMostIteresting · 774 weeks ago
My general rule of thumb is that, if she has gray hair, I'll offer. If she has a child with her, I'll offer. If I offered every standing lady a seat I'd never, ever be able to sit on the subway.
6. Calling the day after you bone for the first time.
Haven't boned something first the first time in many years. Back in the day though... yeah.
7. When walking down the street with your lady, staying on the outside(closer to the road) so she is protected from traffic.
This is a must. Not just to protect from traffic, but also because Pimps let their girls walk on the outside so that johns can get an unobstructed view.
8. Providing cab fare after a thronx.
See # 6
emti · 774 weeks ago
I don't drive. (so) I don't pump gas.
2. Paying for dates.
Whoever asked should pay.
3. Standing when a lady approaches a table or leaves the table
While in my fantasies this is awesome in real life I think he'd look dumb. I also like when a man orders for me at a restaurant.
4. Pulling out chairs and helping with coats
Same as above.
5. Offering your seat on the bus, subway, etc. to a lady
Men never do this...I think it's proper unless they have a disability.
6. Calling the day after you bone for the first time.
You better or you're dead (and I'll be calling Maxie for advice and to pout)
7. When walking down the street with your lady, staying on the outside(closer to the road) so she is protected from traffic.
I should walk on the inside. I used to think this was because of traffic but I like The Most Interesting's reasoning better lol
8. Providing cab fare after a thronx.
I always have my own money or I'm not going anywhere.
melissa · 774 weeks ago
2. at the beginning of a relationship, yes. but once i think you've hit your stride as a couple or at least a regular occurrence, taking turns or pitching in is totally fine.
4. yes, this is a nice touch. same with opening doors. buttttttt guys do not open car doors anymore! the remote lock thingies have made them lazy!
5. yeah right. thank goodness i don't take the subway anymore because NOBODY does this anymore. not even for pregnant ladies. in fact, when i did take the subway, i noticed that the only ppl who give up seats for pregnant women were women.
6. yes. an even nicer touch is calling when you get home to say good night.
8. this does not apply to me because i'm a driver. but if i wasn't, i wouldn't expect it. but since i am a driver, i do appreciate the dude making sure i get home ok by either staying on the phone with me or calling me when he thinks i'm home.
maxfab 81p · 774 weeks ago
1. Pumping the gas...no matter whose car it is or who is driving
I think the gentlemanly thing to do is to offer – especially if it’s cold or I’m dressed up. Gas pumps are stinky and dirty.
2. Paying for dates.
I think it’s gentlemanly for the man to pay until you reach lockdown status. Then it’s a free-for-all.
3. Standing when a lady approaches a table or leaves the table
I love this but I won’t deduct points from a man who doesn’t do it. A man who does though is automatically winning.
4. Pulling out chairs and helping with coats
Same thing. It hardly ever happens so I wouldn’t disqualify a man for not doing it but it’s a major plus if he does. But he has to be smooth. I’ve seen chair-pulling go horribly awry because the guy was so awkward about it.
5. Offering your seat on the bus, subway, etc. to a lady
This is sweet but no one does it. Like ever.
6. Calling the day after you bone for the first time.
If you don’t call after the first slam, not only are you not a gentleman, you’re an effing stinky panty meat. http://www.max-logic.com/2009/10/panty-meat-moves...
7. When walking down the street with your lady, staying on the outside(closer to the road) so she is protected from traffic.
I don’t know a single man who does this. In fact I don’t know if I’d even notice if a man did it for me.
8. Providing cab fare after a thronx.
I was raised properly so I’m not going a place if I don’t have a way to get home. But still I think it’s gentlemanly to offer and if you don’t you will lose points.
Sam Sharpe · 774 weeks ago
regarding #7, clearly you don't know me or we've never walked down the street together b/c this is automatic for me. So much so that I never realized I that always did it until an ex-girlfriend pointed it out to me...seems she didn't realize it either until she started dating someone else who never did it with her....
melissa · 774 weeks ago
Sam Sharpe · 774 weeks ago
I treat women the way I'd expect a man to treat my mother or my sister. I love my momma and I love my sister. So that should tell you all you need to know.
Some of the items on the list are conditional for me, but otherwise this is a pretty solid list.
streetztalk 87p · 774 weeks ago
streetztalk 87p · 774 weeks ago
I will offer if I'm in another woman's car.. if we're bonin/bf/gf. If you're my peoples, I may or may not. I def will if you holding me down with a ride.
2. Paying for dates.
Men should always pay for the first date. After that it should be who offered. I got swindled a few times off that ish!
3. Standing when a lady approaches a table or leaves the table
Never remember to do this but I will stand just off the strength to greet.
4. Pulling out chairs and helping with coats
I do this on and off. It definitely depends. Sometimes at a restaurant the waiter will do it for them. A lot of this stuff Im just a lil scared of seeming fake. IDK.
5. Offering your seat on the bus, subway, etc. to a lady
I agree with Most.
6. Calling the day after you bone for the first time.
Yeah You should make first contact fa sho!
7. When walking down the street with your lady, staying on the outside(closer to the road) so she is protected from traffic.
I always do this. Its second nature. I've had women point this out and I'm like "o ok". Just thought that was something all men did
8. Providing cab fare after a thronx.
If im too tired to drive, sure.
Cheekie · 774 weeks ago
1. Pumping the gas...no matter whose car it is or who is driving
-- Definitely agree. In fact, my boy just went off on a rant about this. How the dude was sitting in the car while the lady (lookin' fly as evah, all dolled up, etc) was pumping the gas...wtf.
2. Paying for dates.
-- First few, sure. I don't mind paying for the ones I invite him to. Depends on the situation of course.
3. Standing when a lady approaches a table or leaves the table
-- Wow, this would make me feel like royalty! lol Never experienced it so can't say I'm a stickler for this one. I would most definitely appreciate it, though. Would make me blush.
4. Pulling out chairs and helping with coats
-- Definitely agree. And helping with coats is so tender and it does somethin' to me. lol
Cheekie · 774 weeks ago
5. Offering your seat on the bus, subway, etc. to a lady
-- YES. Especially older women. But a man who offers it for any lady gets super extra points because you just don't see it often (in the city).
6. Calling the day after you bone for the first time.
-- Good one, I agree, it's a great gesture and very appreciated.
7. When walking down the street with your lady, staying on the outside(closer to the road) so she is protected from traffic.
-- I've never been brought up on this one so never fully understood it. I'll have to *kanyeshrug* on that one.
8. Providing cab fare after a thronx.
-- I don't know why but I automatically thought of the stories at "Tales of a Groupie" where the celeb always provides cab fare after the thronxing. And I giggled.
Again, love your blog max!!