Way back when I first moved to Toronto, I lived in a house with four single girls. As you can imagine, all manner of debauchery went on in that house, to the point where we had a whiteboard in our kitchen were we kept track of the latest perpetrators of crimes against "the girls of 1560". Sadly I don't talk to most of the girls anymore (another post for another day) but I do remember those days and laugh my ass off.
One thing I remember most about those days was this guy we used to see all the time. He was a good guy; funny, mannerly, and dead sexy. But he occupied a position of prominence on our wall of shame because he had an unfortunate nickname: triangle d*ck.
If you're not familiar, triangle d*ck is one of the great tragedies of life. It's when a man's um, man part is shaped like a triangle. It may not be visible to the naked eye, but once it's in there roughing up your lady parts you will know you've encountered it. It's a terrible affliction because there is no cure and it totally negates any other positive attributes the man part might have.
Another one of the girls in the house had an encounter with a sugar bowl d*ck. This is where the girth far exceeds the length so that the penis has the same round, squat silhouette as a sugar bowl. Again - great guy, handsome, smart, funny...but, a sugar bowl.
Eff what you heard I'm a picky girl. I don't mind a gentle sway to the left or right, but I can't get down with these oddly shaped things. I think it might be a dealbreaker for me...but should it be? If I was to find that mythical magical majestical (© Mo'Better Blues) man that could put up with my crazy but had a triangular penis, should I toss him back or hang on for dear life? We all know that size matters, but should shape and girth?
Here's another story for you. Last summer I was hanging on the street corner (#noprostitute) with two of my favourite ladies talking about um, lady parts. I can't remember how we got on the topic, but we were talking about "fatness" and how bizarre it is for a man to compliment a woman for having a "fat pum pum". We wondered if this was an exclusive concern of black men and decided to start polling random white guys to ask them if they noticed or cared about how fat a woman's downthere is. As you can imagine, we got a lot of confused looks. It seems this matters not one whit to some guys, but seems to be quite important to others.
So gentlemen, tell me - does "fatness" matter? And what exactly constitutes a fat vagina? Would you turn down an otherwise ideal woman because her pu$$y didn't meet your standards?
One thing I remember most about those days was this guy we used to see all the time. He was a good guy; funny, mannerly, and dead sexy. But he occupied a position of prominence on our wall of shame because he had an unfortunate nickname: triangle d*ck.
If you're not familiar, triangle d*ck is one of the great tragedies of life. It's when a man's um, man part is shaped like a triangle. It may not be visible to the naked eye, but once it's in there roughing up your lady parts you will know you've encountered it. It's a terrible affliction because there is no cure and it totally negates any other positive attributes the man part might have.
Another one of the girls in the house had an encounter with a sugar bowl d*ck. This is where the girth far exceeds the length so that the penis has the same round, squat silhouette as a sugar bowl. Again - great guy, handsome, smart, funny...but, a sugar bowl.
Eff what you heard I'm a picky girl. I don't mind a gentle sway to the left or right, but I can't get down with these oddly shaped things. I think it might be a dealbreaker for me...but should it be? If I was to find that mythical magical majestical (© Mo'Better Blues) man that could put up with my crazy but had a triangular penis, should I toss him back or hang on for dear life? We all know that size matters, but should shape and girth?
Here's another story for you. Last summer I was hanging on the street corner (#noprostitute) with two of my favourite ladies talking about um, lady parts. I can't remember how we got on the topic, but we were talking about "fatness" and how bizarre it is for a man to compliment a woman for having a "fat pum pum". We wondered if this was an exclusive concern of black men and decided to start polling random white guys to ask them if they noticed or cared about how fat a woman's downthere is. As you can imagine, we got a lot of confused looks. It seems this matters not one whit to some guys, but seems to be quite important to others.
So gentlemen, tell me - does "fatness" matter? And what exactly constitutes a fat vagina? Would you turn down an otherwise ideal woman because her pu$$y didn't meet your standards?
Educate me oh wise ones.
