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10 March 2010

The Connection will not be Televised

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I've spent most of my life being the voice of reason for my girlfriends. I've got it down to a science by now, to the point where I barely even need to listen to their tales of woe to know what their course of action should be. I still do though. Sometimes.

Probably about 90% of the problems I hear about are effed-up relationships. And of that 90%, about 90% of the excuses reasons I hear for why they stay in said effed-up relationships can be aggregated up to one sentence: "But we have a connection!".

Having been blessed at birth with reason and accountability, I tend not to think like a normal woman. Therefore it's a bit difficult for me to even understand what they're talking about when they start whining going on about connections. From what I gather, this is something beyond just liking or loving someone. It's greater than physical attraction. It seems a connection is something transcendental; a destiny-type thing if you wanna get all Love Jones about it. The mythical, magical, majestical connection seems to mean that this person is meant to be in your life, no matter how badly they behave.

Picture this foolishness: Woman meets Man. They feel an instant connection. They click. He gets her, his soul speaks to her soul, he completes her (barf). It's wonderful. It's the stuff that chick flicks are made of. They have a connection and it is beautiful. But as time goes on, things begin to change. Instead of cradling her lovingly while reading Love Letters of Great Men aloud, Man is now treating Woman like something distasteful he found at the bottom of his shoe. Woman's desperate pleas for things to go back to the way they were fall on Man's deaf ears. Woman comes to me asking for advice. I say "leave his trifling ass". But she just can't. Because they have a connection.

You know who really loves to talk about connections? People in love triangles. We all know this story - Man and Woman meet and have a connection but some type of circumstance either breaks them up or stops them from getting together. They go their separate ways and one or both of them becomes committed to someone else. But sooner or later, that pesky connection kicks back in and they just can't stay away from each other. Now they're wreaking all kinds of havoc in their lives and those of their unsuspecting partners and coming running to me for advice. Which is - say it with me now - leave his/her trifling ass. But they can't. Because they have a connection.

If I reach way back into the recesses of my memory, I can recall how amazing it feels to meet someone whom you click with. Someone who gets you, whose soul speaks to your soul, blah blah blah. It's the greatest feeling in the world when you find someone that you think was chosen for you by whatever higher power you believe in. But here's my thing. When that person starts to treat me like caca, I'm going to start using that connection to wipe my ass, because that's all it's good for.

The way I see it, women who play the connection card (and I'm singling out the ladies because I have never heard a man use this excuse) are just trying to avoid responsibility for their actions. Instead of growing stones and leaving a man in the dust when he treats her like doo doo, she blames it all on the connection - like a connection is a free pass for shitty behaviour.

Ladies, lean in close to the screen right now because I have something to tell you: a connection and $3 will get you on the bus.

Here's my take on connections. When things are good, they make them even better, but when things are bad, they don't do shit.  So why women work so hard to maintain their connection to someone who makes them feel like a bag of moldy ass is completely beyond me. I suspect this has something to do with television. We all watched Days of Our Lives back in the day when Kayla & Jack got back together even though he raped her way back when they were married. But life is not a soap opera, and a bad scene is a bad scene, even when you have a connection.

That's what I think - what do you guys think? Ladies do you give your man a longer rope when you feel there's a special connection? Men - do you even know when you have a connection with a woman? Educate me people.

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bag lady. digital nerd. beauty junkie. shoe whore. i'm a sucker for big words and box-fresh kicks. know a little bit about a lot of things and have something to say about everything.
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