A Date at the Strip Club

Way back before I became the dirty bird that I am today, I went to a strip club one night with a few of my male friends. I was a young dumb thing at the time and I sooo did not want to be there. But as the lone girl in a pack of men my vote didn't matter much and next thing I knew we were inside. The night was one part traumatic and one part illuminating. Sitting in pervert's row seeing a little bit too much detail for my delicate constitution = traumatic. Getting a (free) lap dance? Illuminating.

I don't remember how or why it came to be that I got a lap dance at this club, but I remember it started with the girl telling me she needed me to open my legs. And ended with her in between them holding her breast in my face and licking her nipple. Je-sus. In one five minute song I went from "strip clubs are nasty" to "I LOVE strip clubs!".

My point? Well most women I know hate the fact that their man goes to strip clubs and most men I know like to go. So ladies, once again I'm here to ask you to get over it. And once again I'm going to give you a list:

5 Reasons Why You Should be Going to the Strip Club with Your Man

1. Strip clubs are pretty good foreplay

Now let me caveat this here - I'm not talking about grimey spots like the Fabulous Forum back in London. I'm talking a decent to upscale place where the women are under the age of 50 and don't have their Cesarean scars on display. Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah - a strip club can get you - and more importantly your man - nicely revved up before the main event. You locked-down ladies who are complaining that the spark is gone? Here's a good way to light it up.

2. It doesn't make you a bad girl

The older I get the more I believe that women just pretend not to like certain things to solidify their status as a nice girl. This is so patently ridiculous that I'm not even going to address it, so let me just say this. Going to the strip club with your man is pretty much the only "adventurous" thing you can do without actually having to do anything. If it makes you feel better, call yourself taking one for the team.

3. He's going anyway

Some homosexual men don't like strip clubs, but most do. So there's a pretty good chance that at some point in your relationship you're going to be sitting at home with zit cream on your face and Charlie's Angels in the DVD player while your man is taking in the sights. So you might as well suck it up and go with him.

4. You might learn something about your man

I think you can tell a lot about a dude by how he behaves at the strip club. Those jackasses that shout and jeer at the girl from their seats in Pervert's Row probably don't respect women much. The ones that go there and never look up from their Blackberry and try to talk about personal branding? They're gay pretentious. How a man looks at a woman who is taking off her clothes for money says a lot about him.

5. It's hot

Did I say that already? Well it is. Trust me.

Publish Post

Okay ladies - what do you think? Will you go to the strip club with your man? If not, do you at least have the sense to shut your yap when he goes with his friends? Gentlemen - do you even want your lady at the strip club with you?