Donkey Punches and other Liberties

I'm of the opinion that sex is like hockey - better with a little violence. Trouble is, a single woman who avoids attachments usually doesn't waste take time having those 'getting to know you' conversations with her conquests where she can drop subtle hints that she likes it a little rough. Instead she has to rely upon a man's intuition to kick in and let him know that certain acts would be welcomed. We all know where that gets you right? Men - while superior human beings in many ways - are usually not so great at the whole intuition thing. So the girl who likes it a little rowdy probably has to sift through a whole lotta gentle f*ckers (pun intended) before she finds her holy grail - the man who knows exactly what liberties it's okay to take. 

And what liberties are those? I hear you asking. Well of course it's different for every woman. But for the men out there who are itching to try out a move on a new beat but aren't sure how it will go down, I'm going to give you some rough guidelines of how much is too much.

1. Spanking

I don't know many women who don't deserve a good spanking, and I know even fewer who don't enjoy it when it comes during sex. If you have some aggression that you want to let out, this is a good place to start because you can ease into it and it's safe to try it out the first time you slam.

Liberty rating: 1/5

2. Hair Pulling and General Manhandling

Manhandling is one of those things that bring out the throwback in most women. It's not that they don't like it so much as they think they shouldn't. Especially the whole holding on to her head while she's giving you head thing. Waist up she's offended, waist down is a different story. So you probably don't want to open with that. Start with pinning her arms down, proceed to hair pulling, and if she hasn't kicked you in the seeds, it's probably safe to proceed to the head-holding.

Liberty rating: 2/5 - 3/5

3. Hot Talks

I'm not talking about "Oh Baby you feel so good I can't wait to be inside you". I'm talking more along the lines of  "Take this d*ck you f*cking bitch". Break out your potty mouth too soon and you're likely to end the night with blue balls. The only advice I can give you is to pay attention to the way she speaks outside of the bedroom - there are usually clues to how dirty the talks can get in the bed.

Liberty rating: 3/5

4. Choking

The thing about choking is that a lot of women won't admit they like it. And even more women don't know they like it. But the women who don't like it really don't like it. So I don't recommend you trying this out the first time. If the urge to throttle is getting a rise out of you, you could try easing into it and see how she reacts, but I take no responsibility if she freaks the f*ck out.

Liberty rating: 4/5

5. Face-Slapping

This is an advanced move that only a true pig pimp would attempt with a woman he doesn't know well. But more women are into it than you might think.  Tread very, very lightly here. That's all I can say.
Liberty rating: 5/5

6. Donkey Punching
This is not a liberty you should be taking. I'm not saying there aren't girls out there who enjoy it, but I urge you to have the conversation beforehand. Things are gonna get really ugly if you try this on the wrong girl.
Liberty rating: 8/5

As usual, I'm putting it to you dear readers - what do you think? Ladies I know you like to play shy so make use of the anonymous commenting feature to tell me what you think. Men - how do you introduce these little acts of violence in the bedroom?