I'm Gonna Get You Sucka

If there is one universal truth about being single, it's that sooner or later someone is gonna do something shitty to you. Just as they say you have to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince, most singletons have to endure some punk offs before they find what they're looking for.

So as we're living our single lives and enduring random egregious acts, we have a choice: are we going to endure this ass-raping with class and dignity? Or are we going to get even?

Personally, I try to be more of a take the high road kind of gal, but that's really more because I fear creating bad karma for myself than out of classiness or my forgiving nature. Believe you me, I have the inclination to exact revenge on those who did me wrong...I just lack the stones to actually act on it.

Not everyone is as afraid of divine retribution as I am though. Some women - many women - will go to any lengths to get the sucka who did them wrong. Up until a few weeks ago the funniest dating revenge story I'd heard was the woman who bought a billboard to decry the married man who screwed her over, but then one of my friends told me a crazy story.

My girl - let's call her Betty - dated a dude briefly until he abruptly stopped calling her. She never knew why. About a year went by and she bumped into him unexpectedly; at which point he informed her that he was getting married and invited her to the wedding.

Betty went back and forth about whether she should attend this wedding before ultimately deciding that an appearance at the blessed event was a must. Fired up with the indignation of a woman scorned, Betty put on her freakiest freakum dress, some vampy red lipstick and some fuck me pumps and headed to the reception. She arrived just as the happy couple were having their first dance as man and wife. Having gone there with the express purpose of getting revenge, Betty recognized this as a prime opportunity. So she sashayed onto the dance floor, tapped old dude on the shoulder, and murmured "Mind if I cut in?". As both bride and groom looked at her stunned she leaned forward, put her arms around the groom's neck, and kissed him on the lips. And with a dramatic turn and a "congratulations" tossed over her shoulder, she sashayed out that bitch.

Can you imagine?

I could never do such a thing and even if I did I would be so distraught and grief-stricken that I would never get over it. But Betty said she felt effing great afterward and she has no regrets. Which made me wonder if I would feel better about the ish I've been through if I did some dirt to the dude.


What do you guys think? Have any of you ever taken revenge on someone who did you wrong? Ever been forced to pay the price for some dirt you did? Share your stories in the comments.